I have recently made a couple of on-line purchases and have been eagerly awaiting the arrival of my stuff. After all, who doesn't love getting stuff in the mail? Just other day I came home to find one of those Canada Post post-it notes on my front door, advising me to come pick up my package. Yay! Stuff!!!!
The next day was a crappy day weather-wise to go out, but my stuff was waiting for me so I made it a priority to go get it.
As I stood in line at the drug store's postal outlet, I imagined the package I would be receiving. Would it be a rainbow assortment of silicone eyeglass cases from China? My mom made me order those. Or would it be my polar vortex inspired boots. I was really hoping that it was the boots. The polar vortex phenomenon had caused an influx of boot purchases in the Toronto area, leaving only size ox or size munchkin in all the stores. As an average size 7, I was going to have to endure the rest of the winter in a leaky pair if I couldn't have purchased something on line.
When it was my turn, I gave my receipt to the postal worker, anxious to see the size of the box he would produce for me. It was small-ish. The eyeglass cases, I guessed. At least my mom would be happy.
Hmmmm, I said out loud, looking at the box. It was not a brown cardboard box, but a Similac baby formula box.
"Huh?" I inquired to no one in particular. Then I looked up at the postal worker. "Maybe they just sent my stuff in a Similac box?
"This is for a baby", the postal worker offered.
"I know who it's for, Dumbass!", I more or less said, but keeping the 'dumbass' part in my head, "but I don't have a baby, so I'm not sure why they sent it."
"They might send it out to expectant mothers, in anticipation of a baby", the postal clerk replied.
"I'm not expecting a baby either!", was my bewildered retort, not sure why I was barking at the clerk.
"Even if it is really early in the pregnancy, they still might send it to you...", the clerk began, while I shook my head, not sure how to disengage from the conversation. I just signed for it and left.
Upon arriving home, I opened the box to find a Similac starter kit, along with a note that was specifically addressed to me.
In anticipation of your new arrival, we would like to offer you this sample of our formula blah blah blah.
I'm not pregnant. I'm not! I would know! I'm sure I would at least know before the baby formula marketers. So where did this come from? I've even been getting follow-up mail from the same company, giving me coupons for their product. So my guesses are:
1. My text conversations with my pregnant friend #1 have been monitored, but there was a mix up about who was pregnant
2. My facebook emails with my pregnant friend #2 have been monitored, but there was a mix up about who was pregnant
3. My internet search for prego friend #1 regarding a specific cough medicine was monitored, and an assumption was made.
4. The makers of Similac have a malfunctioning crystal ball.
Any other guesses?