Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Home Brewed Rocket Fuel

My younger daughter does not have the best digestive system.  Her pediatrician prescribed a laxative, which we sometimes add to her morning beverage.  It is a white, granular substance that we have to measure out, requiring us to keep it in a wide mouth plastic container instead of the bottle it originally came in.

One morning I set out to administer a teaspoon's worth of magic powder when I discovered that we had none left.  You'd think I would have noticed that we were running low, but I attributed it to the Huz having given the most recent dose, and me just being a bit of a tool.  No biggie.  I figured that I'd just pick some up later.

Given that I couldn't help my daughter out in this particular department at that very moment, I turned to my pot of coffee to at least give myself a boost.  I added sugar and took a swig.

'It's not sweet'  I remarked to myself, feeling somewhat puzzled by this revelation

I added another two teaspoons and tasted it again.  Still not sweet!!!???

I gave it another try.  NOT SWEET!!!!!!!!

Prior to connecting the dots between the empty laxative container, the full sugar dispenser, the prior day's cleaning lady visit and her strange obsession with organizing my home, I had a somewhat neurotic moment that lasted an entire second:

I can't taste sugar!

I must have had a stroke!

Or maybe I finally destroyed my taste buds with all those ketchup potato chips!

I won't ever be able to enjoy chocolate!

I might lose weight!

But all foods have some sugar!  I won't be able to enjoy any foods!

Then I finally clued in.

I now label the laxative container.

1 comment:

  1. This is hysterical! I love the inner monologue.

    And congrats on being even more 'regular' than usual. :)